im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
