i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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