shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
