I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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