just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
