My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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