Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
