I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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