This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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