we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
