just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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