Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's official drugs can't kill me
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
