Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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