what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
