They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
