What did we do last night that was yellow?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
