so that wasnt chicken after all
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
