Your tits are I can't wait for
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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