i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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