It's like God shit irony all over that family
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
