Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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