I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
