Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
