Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
