it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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