There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
