it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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