ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There's a naked man in my car right now.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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