Just mADE A PArabola og urine
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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