Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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