Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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