worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
