Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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