All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
