so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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