u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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