When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
