My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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