I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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