Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
