He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
