In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
