What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
