did you get engaged???
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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