I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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