he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think your dad took our porno
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
