My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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