I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
