The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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