the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
In other news, I just burned my penis
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
